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Ha-ha!
2
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No way!
3
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Er...
Gosh!
4
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Where's the hole?
5
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Ah!
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Are you having a laugh?
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Oh! Oh!
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This program me contains strong
language and adult humour
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Hello, welcome.
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00:00:34,508 --> 00:00:37,124
It's Taskmaster, it's episode eight.
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I'm Greg Davies — sweet, sweet eye
candy for your mum and your auntie.
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Five funny clowns have been battling
it out over several episodes now.
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Some have proved themselves
surprisingly resourceful,
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others have made their families
worry about
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whether they're looking
after themselves.
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One and one alone will lift
a papier-mache trophy
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into the air and shout, "This?!
I went through all that for this?!"
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Let us meet the jesters on
the battlefield of the absurd.
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They are Ardal O'Hanlon...
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Bridget Christie...
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Chris Ramsey...
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judi Love...
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and Sophie Duker.
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And next to me, a man who cries
every time he watches Free Willy
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and who frees his willy every time
he cries.
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It's little Alex Horne.
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Hello, Greg. Hello, everybody.
Nice to be here.
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All right? Yes, I've got new shoes.
Feeling confident. You like them?
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Well, they're better than your
usual plastic slip-ons, I suppose.
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Yeah. They're very nice.
They're quite tall.
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They're quite tall.
Where do you think they end, Greg?
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Where do you think they end?
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I just...
I've made you little windows.
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I've just seen those. Yes.
Do you think they come up to,
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to my shin, Greg? Do you want to
open the window?
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I thought you'd like this.
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Yeah, the, the shoes are still
going. Yeah.
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Do you want to look at the knee?
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Yeah. See if they're still...
They can't be still going.
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They're still going.
OK. Oh, they can't be up the thigh.
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Do you want to have
a little look, Greg?
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Yeah, yeah, you're wearing
thigh-high boots, Alex.
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Let's get on
with the show, shall we?
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Yes, here we go,
it's Prize Task time and,
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this Prize Task time,
they've all brought in
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the loveliest thing
to hold above your head.
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Ooh.
Greg will give five points
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for the thing that he thinks is
the loveliest to hold
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above your head, and then tonight's
winner will take home
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five things that are lovely
to hold above your head. That's it.
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Sophie Duker,
what have you brought in, please?
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I've brought a teeny, tiny trophy.
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Here it is.
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Er, this is it compared to
a mighty trophy.
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There we go.
It is a teeny, tiny trophy.
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Now, that sort of endears me
to it a little bit.
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Yeah. It's a teeny, tiny trophy
that I won
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the very first time I did stand-up
in a stand-up competition.
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And they bulk-bought teeny,
tiny trophies.
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They gave it to anyone who believed
in herself enough
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to get up on the stage
and do two minutes
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of teeny, tiny,
trophy-worthy material.
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That is quite cute.
And that's what I did. Yeah.
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And it got an "ah"
from the audience.
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Yeah. Which is very clever.
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Chris, something meaningful
to hold above your head?
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Yes. Now, we all know the best thing
to hold above your head
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is your hands.
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You can wave them in the air like
you just don't care.
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Yeah? This is worse than teeny,
tiny trophy.
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I've brought in
the un—untuckable shirt.
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Here it is, the un-un-tuckable
shirt.
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Oh!
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I was not expecting to get turned on
this early in the show.
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But that. The shirt...
That is horrendous.
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The shirt is sewn directly
onto your underpants
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and it is impossible to untuck.
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The self-confidence I would feel
would be lovely,
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knowing that my big belly's not
going to fall out,
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followed by my awful genitals.
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I feel like you're tucking in
too far into the wrong bit.
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OK, it might not be lovely,
but it is,
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it is very practical
and does genuinely appeal to me.
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Ah, Judi.
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I went for a lovely fan.
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Yes, Judi's brought in a fan.
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There it is.
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Yep. I mean the obvious thing
to do with that is
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to hold it aloft above one's head.
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Well, it's when you get... Look,
you know how hot you get
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cos you're hot, right?
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Imagine if, in the most hottest time
of your life,
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you could just stand there... I'd
think, "Ooh, I could do with a fan."
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"Over my head." But, oh,
I'm holding it above my own head?
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Yeah, you know that moment when you
walk in and the air con hits you?
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You hold that fan too high,
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you are going to untuck your shirt,
and it's going to be terrible.
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Do you know what would
go well with that?
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One point.
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Ardal, only you can,
er, help Judi out.
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00:05:20,909 --> 00:05:25,774
The loveliest thing to hold above
your head is a table tennis bat.
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You are back in the game.
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He has brought that in,
and there it is.
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It's a table tennis paddle or bat.
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Well, it's a,
a great way of making friends.
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Like, let's say you're at
a railway station.
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OK. And you hold the table
tennis bat above your head,
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you will quickly attract followers.
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They will think that you're some
sort of a tour guide
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and they will join in,
and you can bring them places,
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and you can certainly get to
the front of the queue at,
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at a museum.
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Thanks, Ardal.
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Bridget. Oh! I have brought in
a handmade,
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lace parasol that was made by a
neighbour for her child.
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When her child was young,
she accidentally,
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they went to the beach
and it burnt a bit.
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It?
The, the child.
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It?
She hadn't put the... Shush!
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Sunblock and stuff on,
so she made a parasol
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for the child when it was younger,
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and then, when I had my children,
she said,
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"Would you like this for yours?"
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Here is the vintage
parasol. Beautiful.
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Oh. Ooh. Lovely.
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Ooh, it is nice.
It's lovely, isn't it?
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You could spin that behind you
as well.
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Yeah, but when you're walking round
with that parasol above your head,
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like, do hundreds
of tourists follow you?
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So, it's pretty straightforward,
as far as I'm concerned.
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Ardal can thank me for one point
for his bat.
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One. Two points for a fan that helps
no—one
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is the most generous thing
I've ever done.
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Er, just because it doesn't really
go fully above your head,
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but I do so admire and want it,
I'll give three points to
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the pant/shirt combination.
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Mr Chris Ramsey.
And then there will be a jump up
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00:07:15,359 --> 00:07:19,774
because of the emotional content...
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they've got to take five
points each.
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OK, so it's five points
to Sophie and Bridget.
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Yeah!
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I'd like the first task, please.
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Certainly, and we're going global
with this one,
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because it's time
to find out who's the best E test.
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In you pop, Ardal.
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Yes, thank you.
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00:07:52,829 --> 00:07:55,134
Hello?
Hello.
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Oh, no!
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00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:59,373
Swedish.
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00:07:59,398 --> 00:08:03,134
Learn Swedish. Oh, shitting hell!
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"You'll have a five—minute
conversation with a Swedish person
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"in 15 minutes from now."
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"The phrase book and tablet must
remain in the caravan."
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Best demonstration of
the Swedish language wins.
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Your time starts when you first
said "Swedish."
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What? So it already started?
157
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,243
Yeah.
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00:08:29,119 --> 00:08:30,684
Pretty straightforward.
Mm-hm.
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Learn a language. Yes.
How long did they have?
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00:08:33,068 --> 00:08:35,413
15 minutes, but it is a category-one
language, Swedish.
161
00:08:35,438 --> 00:08:37,774
It's as easy as French or Spanish
to English speakers.
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00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:40,734
Oh, thank you. Well, move over,
Punch and Judy and make way for
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00:08:40,759 --> 00:08:43,444
Judi and Chris. Here we go.
164
00:08:43,469 --> 00:08:45,734
Tack's got to be thank you.
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00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:46,684
Ooh!
166
00:08:46,709 --> 00:08:49,404
Tack. Tank. Tank.
167
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,604
Tank.
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00:08:50,629 --> 00:08:52,524
Adjo, goodbye.
169
00:08:52,549 --> 00:08:54,163
Boom!
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00:08:54,188 --> 00:08:55,734
Ne} Ne.
171
00:08:55,759 --> 00:08:57,293
Nej-Nell-.
172
00:08:57,318 --> 00:08:59,014
Nej. Nej.
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00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,574
Five out of six.
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00:09:00,599 --> 00:09:03,134
If he says them words, I'm laughing
me head off.
175
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Ar? Ar.
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00:09:04,959 --> 00:09:06,734
Ar, at, at.
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Oh, oh, yeah, at. Eh'?
178
00:09:09,518 --> 00:09:10,934
Sorry?
179
00:09:10,959 --> 00:09:13,324
Please come and talk to
a Swedish person. Oh, man.
180
00:09:13,349 --> 00:09:15,654
Judi, we have to go
and talk to a Swedish person now.
181
00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:16,679
OK.
182
00:09:23,518 --> 00:09:25,854
Oh! I was wondering how he
wouldn't be here.
183
00:09:25,879 --> 00:09:28,324
OK.
I'm good with iPads.
184
00:09:28,349 --> 00:09:31,293
OK, Judi, your five minutes
starts now.
185
00:09:31,318 --> 00:09:32,373
Heja.
186
00:09:32,398 --> 00:09:33,654
Hey.
187
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,524
Er...
188
00:09:37,549 --> 00:09:38,764
He's-.
189
00:09:42,839 --> 00:09:45,243
I've, I've forgot it all.
190
00:09:45,268 --> 00:09:47,524
Ven samale England.
191
00:09:49,318 --> 00:09:51,764
Ven samale England.
192
00:09:51,789 --> 00:09:53,214
Mm...
193
00:09:53,239 --> 00:09:55,043
Hungrig? Erm...
194
00:09:56,839 --> 00:09:58,684
Oh, er...
195
00:09:58,709 --> 00:10:00,734
Ute Ho“.
196
00:10:00,759 --> 00:10:01,814
Yea h, lite trott.
197
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,214
Hej, Judi.
198
00:10:15,789 --> 00:10:17,014
Is he still there?
199
00:10:17,039 --> 00:10:18,814
Yes, he's still there, Chris.
200
00:10:18,839 --> 00:10:21,094
God, er...
201
00:10:21,119 --> 00:10:23,014
Mar, mot, morgon.
202
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,484
God morgon?
203
00:10:26,909 --> 00:10:28,814
Football!
204
00:10:28,839 --> 00:10:29,964
Don't like it.
205
00:10:29,989 --> 00:10:31,934
He'; da.
206
00:10:31,959 --> 00:10:33,014
He'; da.
207
00:10:33,039 --> 00:10:34,094
Super.
208
00:10:34,119 --> 00:10:35,404
You too-per super.
209
00:10:38,349 --> 00:10:40,293
Hungrig.
Oh, OK.
210
00:10:40,318 --> 00:10:41,814
Hungrig.
Tack.
211
00:10:41,839 --> 00:10:44,094
[He], he], ba-gej-hej. Wey—hey.
212
00:10:45,959 --> 00:10:47,404
So embarrassing!
213
00:10:53,599 --> 00:10:56,894
You lost, you lost confidence for a
few key phrases, I thought.
214
00:10:56,919 --> 00:11:00,253
Well, look, you know,
he ended up saying "super" to me.
215
00:11:00,278 --> 00:11:02,964
Yeah, and you replied,
"You too-per super."
216
00:11:09,349 --> 00:11:15,734
Are we 100% sure that Chris
established that he was hungry?
217
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,123
I did ask him a couple of times.
218
00:11:17,148 --> 00:11:19,764
He was, he dodged the question,
actually, which I thought was bad
219
00:11:19,789 --> 00:11:22,684
on his part. I thought "good moron"
was a terrible mistake but, in fact,
220
00:11:22,709 --> 00:11:23,814
it was correct.
221
00:11:23,839 --> 00:11:25,404
It was correct.
That's what I'm saying.
222
00:11:25,429 --> 00:11:26,844
I mean, I...|'ve got to say,
223
00:11:26,869 --> 00:11:28,454
I didn't think it was
a total disaster.
224
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,764
OK. Exactly. I mean, it was no
holding a ping-pong bat
225
00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:32,253
above the head, was it?
226
00:11:32,278 --> 00:11:33,844
Er, let's go, who's next?
227
00:11:33,869 --> 00:11:36,814
OK, yes, by genuinely popular
demand, Fred's back,
228
00:11:36,839 --> 00:11:41,173
and next to speed-learn
Swedish are Ardal and Sophie.
229
00:11:41,198 --> 00:11:43,094
Ja leder efter stromming.
230
00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:46,894
Thank you.
Tack.
231
00:11:46,919 --> 00:11:48,293
Tack. Great. Tack.
232
00:11:48,318 --> 00:11:49,373
Tack, tack. Tack.
233
00:11:49,398 --> 00:11:51,094
I want to be cool. La goat.
234
00:11:52,318 --> 00:11:54,574
Hey, la goat. What's up?
235
00:11:54,599 --> 00:11:56,844
I am hungry.
236
00:11:56,869 --> 00:11:58,373
Here-more-you.
237
00:11:59,639 --> 00:12:01,974
That's your time up, Sophie.
That's, yes.
238
00:12:01,999 --> 00:12:04,324
Please follow me, Ardal.
OK.
239
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:08,224
How's your Swedish now?
It's really great.
240
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:10,654
Ardal, you've got five minutes,
your time starts now.
241
00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:12,173
OK.
242
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:14,014
Hex'.!
243
00:12:14,039 --> 00:12:15,764
Optional...
244
00:12:15,789 --> 00:12:18,404
to Taskmaster.
245
00:12:19,509 --> 00:12:20,814
What is your name?
246
00:12:20,839 --> 00:12:22,484
Pg hates Fred.
247
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:26,253
Hi, Fred. me, my name is Sven.
248
00:12:29,278 --> 00:12:32,844
I am pregnant.
249
00:12:35,198 --> 00:12:36,974
Cool, cool.
250
00:12:36,999 --> 00:12:41,334
Peace, Peace, Peace.
Fred, I'm hungry.
251
00:12:41,359 --> 00:12:42,404
OK.
252
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:46,043
Me, I'm looking for stromming.
253
00:12:46,068 --> 00:12:47,484
Stromming?
254
00:12:47,509 --> 00:12:50,484
Stromming. Ar du stromming?
255
00:12:51,719 --> 00:12:52,844
Ar du stromming?
256
00:12:52,869 --> 00:12:55,123
Nej stromming?
257
00:12:55,148 --> 00:12:56,654
Oh...
258
00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:58,654
Ah...
259
00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,944
Vil du ha...
260
00:13:02,509 --> 00:13:03,844
Hmm?
261
00:13:03,869 --> 00:13:06,094
Erm, McDonald's?
262
00:13:11,039 --> 00:13:12,123
OK.
263
00:13:12,148 --> 00:13:14,453
Fred. Fred, Fred, Fred...
264
00:13:39,482 --> 00:13:40,482
Adjo.
265
00:13:42,482 --> 00:13:43,787
Thank you, Sophie.
266
00:13:52,812 --> 00:13:56,587
Erm, the song. Yeah. I mean,
where the hell did that come from?
267
00:13:56,612 --> 00:14:00,177
I was in Sweden once, and I was
outside a railway station
268
00:14:00,202 --> 00:14:01,817
with a table tennis bat...
269
00:14:03,612 --> 00:14:04,867
and...
270
00:14:06,121 --> 00:14:10,026
I, er, met some people who worked
in the Volvo factory,
271
00:14:10,051 --> 00:14:13,667
and we ended up going out
to a pub and,
272
00:14:13,692 --> 00:14:17,146
er, by the end of the night, we were
singing Swedish drinking songs.
273
00:14:17,171 --> 00:14:18,226
So...
274
00:14:19,812 --> 00:14:22,067
as it turned out,
I could speak Swedish all along.
275
00:14:26,921 --> 00:14:29,587
Let's not overshadow Sophie's
superb attempt.
276
00:14:29,612 --> 00:14:32,067
I think you may've gone in quite
hard by announcing
277
00:14:32,092 --> 00:14:33,307
you were pregnant.
278
00:14:33,332 --> 00:14:36,106
Yeah, I think he was really, er,
279
00:14:36,131 --> 00:14:39,617
reluctant to take accountability
for that.
280
00:14:39,642 --> 00:14:41,997
And, at the back of
the phrase book,
281
00:14:42,022 --> 00:14:44,867
it was useful things to say
if you find yourself in Sweden.
282
00:14:44,892 --> 00:14:47,307
Yeah, "|'m pregnant."
Yes.
283
00:14:47,332 --> 00:14:50,356
But your pronunciation was, erm,
pretty good.
284
00:14:50,381 --> 00:14:53,637
I just think you, you formed a bad
relationship with him.
285
00:14:53,662 --> 00:14:55,976
Well, he wasn't forming good
relationships with anyone.
286
00:14:56,001 --> 00:14:58,637
He was stuck up, man.
287
00:14:58,662 --> 00:15:00,387
He kept trying
to tell me about football,
288
00:15:00,412 --> 00:15:02,947
wouldn't tell us if he was hungry or
not. He was a horrible man.
289
00:15:02,972 --> 00:15:04,307
That's what I'm saying.
290
00:15:04,332 --> 00:15:05,747
Er, guess what? It's break time.
291
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:08,106
You know the drill —
You make yourselves a cuppa,
292
00:15:08,131 --> 00:15:11,026
I'll put Alex in a choke hold
and we'll meet back here shortly.
293
00:15:11,051 --> 00:15:12,617
See you in a bit.
294
00:15:21,372 --> 00:15:23,187
Hello! Welcome back
to Taskmaster,
295
00:15:23,212 --> 00:15:26,236
where we're in the middle of a
language-learning task.
296
00:15:26,261 --> 00:15:28,906
Yes, we are,
and Swedish Fred is back.
297
00:15:30,772 --> 00:15:33,236
Our competitors have been trying
to cram before performing
298
00:15:33,261 --> 00:15:35,547
the best demonstration of
the Swedish language
299
00:15:35,572 --> 00:15:36,827
via a conversation with him.
300
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:40,427
Finally, it's everyone's favourite
period drama comedian,
301
00:15:40,452 --> 00:15:42,106
it's Bridger ton Christie.
302
00:15:47,622 --> 00:15:49,187
Hang on a sec.
You OK, Bridget?
303
00:15:49,212 --> 00:15:50,747
Yeah, I'm just ringing my brother.
304
00:15:50,772 --> 00:15:52,467
Are you now?
305
00:15:52,492 --> 00:15:53,957
Hey, Jim.
All right?
306
00:15:53,982 --> 00:15:55,627
I'm sorry to ring you
out of the blue.
307
00:15:55,652 --> 00:15:58,106
I've got to talk to
a Swedish person.
308
00:15:58,131 --> 00:15:59,957
Would you help me?
309
00:15:59,982 --> 00:16:02,697
Absolutely. Thanks. I'm in Sweden
now, so no problem.
310
00:16:02,722 --> 00:16:05,056
What shall I say?
Er...
311
00:16:05,081 --> 00:16:06,847
Has there been any things
happening there?
312
00:16:06,872 --> 00:16:08,126
You can just say...
313
00:16:10,192 --> 00:16:13,337
Wha he de sen ahon na mi nenen.
314
00:16:23,922 --> 00:16:26,847
Oh! What was that then, Jim?
315
00:16:26,872 --> 00:16:29,697
Well, you asked him, "What's
happening with the Prime Minister?"
316
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:34,056
Er, because he's got a lack of
confidence vote against him today.
317
00:16:34,081 --> 00:16:35,167
Oh! Erm...
318
00:16:35,192 --> 00:16:37,977
So it's a very, very topical
question you put there, Bridge.
319
00:16:38,002 --> 00:16:40,527
Well done.
What do you think I should ask next?
320
00:16:44,112 --> 00:16:46,006
Is that a question or is it
a statement?
321
00:16:46,031 --> 00:16:48,287
It's a question, yeah. Oh.
322
00:16:50,752 --> 00:16:53,056
He said... That's definitely the
question to ask.
323
00:16:53,081 --> 00:16:54,697
He said, "I've got no idea."
324
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,367
Shall we make it a bit lighter?
325
00:16:56,392 --> 00:16:57,417
You could say...
326
00:17:04,081 --> 00:17:06,367
He said, "Thanks very much and the
same to you."
327
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:08,056
Tack. Adjo.
328
00:17:08,081 --> 00:17:09,417
Adjo. Tack.
329
00:17:09,442 --> 00:17:11,806
Oh, bye-bye. Jimmy,
thank you so much.
330
00:17:20,232 --> 00:17:21,447
Do you think it's fair?
331
00:17:21,472 --> 00:17:23,806
Let's get this debate out of
the way with.
332
00:17:23,831 --> 00:17:26,136
The actual wording is
"Best demonstration of the Swedish
333
00:17:26,161 --> 00:17:27,337
"language wins."
334
00:17:27,362 --> 00:17:29,647
And I guess she did demonstrate
the Swedish language.
335
00:17:29,672 --> 00:17:31,136
It just wasn't from her mouth.
336
00:17:31,161 --> 00:17:33,447
I thought it was quite
a clever thing to do,
337
00:17:33,472 --> 00:17:34,527
bringing your brother in.
338
00:17:34,552 --> 00:17:36,887
Well, it's quite clever to have
a brother who lives in Sweden
339
00:17:36,911 --> 00:17:39,777
and has lived there.
And he's never available.
340
00:17:39,802 --> 00:17:42,087
Shall we deal with
the lower-ranking numbers?
341
00:17:42,112 --> 00:17:43,368
Yes, I think that's a good idea.
342
00:17:43,392 --> 00:17:45,006
Right.
343
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,447
Hi, guys.
344
00:17:46,472 --> 00:17:48,367
Are you hungfY?
345
00:17:48,392 --> 00:17:51,977
Cos I've got a delicious point
for you. One point to Chris.
346
00:17:52,002 --> 00:17:53,367
Yes. Now, the second between...
347
00:17:53,392 --> 00:17:54,497
Hi, guys.
348
00:17:56,472 --> 00:17:59,417
It's, it's much easier this
way, isn't it, Greg?
349
00:17:59,442 --> 00:18:01,136
This is much easier
than I thought.
350
00:18:01,161 --> 00:18:02,967
Here's your delicious two points.
351
00:18:02,992 --> 00:18:04,967
Thank you.
Hungrig. Hungrig.
352
00:18:04,992 --> 00:18:08,287
I actually thought that Sophie was,
had a great deal of potential
353
00:18:08,312 --> 00:18:11,337
until she got bogged down into
a pregnancy narrative.
354
00:18:11,362 --> 00:18:13,647
Right, so three to Sophie.
Three points.
355
00:18:13,672 --> 00:18:15,417
So it's between the folk singer.
356
00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:16,727
Erm, Ardal takes it.
357
00:18:16,752 --> 00:18:17,967
OK. Yeah.
358
00:18:17,992 --> 00:18:20,247
So, four to Bridget
and five to Ardal O'Hanlon.
359
00:18:23,112 --> 00:18:24,857
Can I have the series scores?
360
00:18:24,882 --> 00:18:27,617
Yeah, OK. Well, it's interesting.
361
00:18:27,642 --> 00:18:30,337
Judi's at the bottom with 106,
362
00:18:30,362 --> 00:18:33,607
Ardal's gone up a bit to 112,
and then it gets tight.
363
00:18:33,632 --> 00:18:36,056
Chris is now in third place on 120,
364
00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:39,136
Bridget 121, Sophie 127.
365
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:43,006
Ooh! Six points between the top two.
366
00:18:43,031 --> 00:18:46,697
And in this episode, Judi on four,
Chris on four but, at the top,
367
00:18:46,722 --> 00:18:48,337
it's Bridget with nine points.
368
00:18:55,161 --> 00:18:57,577
And what have you got
for me now, my hairy chum?
369
00:18:57,602 --> 00:19:01,607
Hello, it's your absolute favourite,
it's a really disgusting task.
370
00:19:01,632 --> 00:19:02,697
Mm!
371
00:19:14,961 --> 00:19:17,727
La—la—la—la—la—la—lab!
372
00:19:17,752 --> 00:19:20,217
Back in the lab.
Here we are.
373
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,087
Aye — aye-aye, aye, —aye—aye.
374
00:19:22,112 --> 00:19:24,886
I like this.
Yeah, well, they match your outfit.
375
00:19:24,911 --> 00:19:26,087
Yeah.
376
00:19:26,112 --> 00:19:27,217
Do you like everything?
377
00:19:27,242 --> 00:19:29,497
Well, I,
I don't know what that is yet.
378
00:19:32,031 --> 00:19:34,806
"Stick your tongue out
as far as it will go
379
00:19:34,831 --> 00:19:38,607
"and keep it out until
further notice."
380
00:19:38,632 --> 00:19:41,057
Thank you. OK, I'm going to read you
the next bit of the task.
381
00:19:41,081 --> 00:19:43,727
Oh.
Please, can your tongue stay out?
382
00:19:47,192 --> 00:19:49,577
Right. So, it's got to stay like
that now, Chris. Mm-hm.
383
00:19:49,602 --> 00:19:51,447
I've got an abnormally
short tongue.
384
00:19:52,632 --> 00:19:54,136
Is that really as far as it goes?
385
00:19:54,161 --> 00:19:56,006
Mm! You're discriminating
against me.
386
00:19:56,031 --> 00:19:58,447
I'm not, I'm just commenting on it.
No, you are.
387
00:19:59,752 --> 00:20:02,217
Whoa. A big one.
388
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,497
Ahh.
389
00:20:04,522 --> 00:20:06,367
Every time Alex blows his whistle,
390
00:20:06,392 --> 00:20:09,447
you must lick the lemon,
then the sherbet,
391
00:20:09,472 --> 00:20:11,056
then the ice lolly.
Uh—huh.
392
00:20:11,081 --> 00:20:13,016
Every time Alex honks his horn,
393
00:20:13,041 --> 00:20:14,778
you must hold your tongue in front
of the fan
394
00:20:14,802 --> 00:20:16,136
for five seconds.
395
00:20:16,161 --> 00:20:18,857
The tongue that sticks
out for the longest time wins.
396
00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,167
Do you understand the task?
397
00:20:24,632 --> 00:20:26,327
Uh-huh.
398
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:31,657
Awful.
399
00:20:31,682 --> 00:20:34,016
Is that really how big your
tongue is?
400
00:20:34,041 --> 00:20:36,417
Uh'.!
401
00:20:36,442 --> 00:20:39,936
No such problem with Sophie.
Yours is, er, impressive.
402
00:20:39,961 --> 00:20:41,806
Yeah?
Yep.
403
00:20:41,831 --> 00:20:44,136
Basically, I'm saying one person's
got a tiny tongue,
404
00:20:44,161 --> 00:20:45,378
one person's got a massive one.
405
00:20:45,402 --> 00:20:47,217
Yeah. Let's, let's...
We're all different.
406
00:20:47,242 --> 00:20:49,577
Let's get on with the task.
Yes. Although, before we do,
407
00:20:49,602 --> 00:20:51,017
I do have to apologise
for this task.
408
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,857
If you don't like human spittle...
409
00:20:52,882 --> 00:20:54,247
Oh, God.
410
00:20:54,272 --> 00:20:56,607
Genuinely, it might be worth looking
away occasionally.
411
00:20:56,632 --> 00:20:57,777
Yeah. Oh, my God.
412
00:20:57,802 --> 00:20:59,766
Don't you dare look away.
413
00:21:01,072 --> 00:21:02,217
Good luck, everyone.
414
00:21:02,242 --> 00:21:05,136
Also, sorry to our first two,
Ardal and Judi.
415
00:21:05,161 --> 00:21:06,686
Here you go.
416
00:21:06,711 --> 00:21:08,936
The time starts now.
417
00:21:13,322 --> 00:21:15,087
Mm!
418
00:21:15,112 --> 00:21:17,497
How long do you think
the average tongue is, Judi?
419
00:21:19,402 --> 00:21:20,806
Sherbet now, please.
420
00:21:27,831 --> 00:21:29,527
Three inches.
421
00:21:35,632 --> 00:21:36,967
Tongue out, please.
422
00:21:38,632 --> 00:21:42,407
Then we're going to dry
the tongue out with the fan.
423
00:21:42,432 --> 00:21:44,136
Yeah, back to the lemon.
424
00:21:46,402 --> 00:21:47,936
Keep it out, please.
425
00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:52,327
OK, good start.
426
00:22:09,432 --> 00:22:10,936
Pardon? It's disgusting?
427
00:22:10,961 --> 00:22:14,127
How long? Well, so far,
you've done four and half minutes.
428
00:22:15,552 --> 00:22:16,936
It's longest time wins.
429
00:22:24,432 --> 00:22:26,127
It's in, it's in!
430
00:22:28,402 --> 00:22:29,857
Fuck this.
431
00:22:31,791 --> 00:22:33,167
Well done, Judi.
432
00:22:33,192 --> 00:22:35,016
Sorry for any mess that
I may have left.
433
00:22:35,041 --> 00:22:37,457
Ah, it's only a little,
little pool at the bottom.
434
00:22:42,482 --> 00:22:45,377
Incredible. Was this both of your,
your favourite task?
435
00:22:45,402 --> 00:22:48,177
Erm...
I didn't mind it actually.
436
00:22:48,202 --> 00:22:52,127
I mean, sherbet, lovely.
Lemon, lovely. Lollies, lovely.
437
00:22:52,152 --> 00:22:55,936
Yep. I mean, I, I'm just proud of
myself that I could still
438
00:22:55,961 --> 00:22:57,686
communicate with my tongue out.
439
00:22:57,711 --> 00:22:59,327
Yes. Oh, the standard was wonderful.
440
00:22:59,352 --> 00:23:02,127
Do you want to hear the nasal
communication now? Please, could we?
441
00:23:02,152 --> 00:23:03,857
It was better than her Swedish.
Yeah.
442
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:05,047
Here we go.
443
00:23:05,072 --> 00:23:07,047
Oh, for fuck's sake.
444
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:12,766
Yeah, it's crystal-clear, isn't it?
Crystal—clear.
445
00:23:14,272 --> 00:23:16,177
OK. Unfortunately,
you do have to see more.
446
00:23:16,202 --> 00:23:18,016
It doesn't get any better,
so here we go.
447
00:23:18,041 --> 00:23:20,816
This time,
it's sorry to Bridget and Chris.
448
00:23:20,841 --> 00:23:23,737
It's got to stay out.
Please, don't cover your tongue.
449
00:23:29,041 --> 00:23:32,016
Just one lemon. Was that licking?
Mm—hm.
450
00:23:34,992 --> 00:23:36,816
Was that licking?
Mm—hm.
451
00:23:42,562 --> 00:23:44,816
That was licking.
452
00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:47,407
When I blow the whistle, please.
453
00:23:47,432 --> 00:23:48,816
How's it feeling?
454
00:23:51,402 --> 00:23:53,327
Whenever you want, Bridget.
455
00:23:54,432 --> 00:23:56,896
Mm, mm, mm.
Mm-hm?
456
00:23:59,322 --> 00:24:02,097
Oh! Ah, now, I think it went in.
457
00:24:02,122 --> 00:24:04,407
Mm.
It did go in, didn't it?
458
00:24:04,432 --> 00:24:06,327
I am going to stop the clock.
459
00:24:06,352 --> 00:24:08,207
Are you going to keep it in
or keep it out?
460
00:24:08,232 --> 00:24:09,686
0h!
461
00:24:25,202 --> 00:24:26,737
Nah, I'm done. I'm done.
462
00:24:26,762 --> 00:24:28,177
Oh!
463
00:24:30,152 --> 00:24:31,407
How do you feel?
464
00:24:31,432 --> 00:24:34,177
Oh, just... ashamed mainly.
465
00:24:41,432 --> 00:24:43,936
I mean, your attempt, Bridget,
put me in mind
466
00:24:43,961 --> 00:24:47,657
of the film Turner And Hooch.
467
00:24:47,682 --> 00:24:50,016
|'m... that's what I was going
for, yeah.
468
00:24:50,041 --> 00:24:53,207
Chris, I just wanted to acknowledge
your technique,
469
00:24:53,232 --> 00:24:55,766
which was the hummingbird dab.
Yes.
470
00:24:55,791 --> 00:24:59,686
He wasn't taking
luxurious licks of lemons.
471
00:24:59,711 --> 00:25:01,577
He dabbed, he moved on.
472
00:25:03,282 --> 00:25:05,617
It did escalate severely
after about five minutes,
473
00:25:05,642 --> 00:25:07,457
but, yeah, the start put him
in good stead,
474
00:25:07,482 --> 00:25:09,766
and he is, at this stage,
the leader.
475
00:25:09,791 --> 00:25:10,977
I'm not surprised. Yeah.
476
00:25:11,002 --> 00:25:13,457
Because there... and there wasn't
much flob until later on,
477
00:25:13,482 --> 00:25:15,816
but when it came, woohoo!
478
00:25:15,841 --> 00:25:18,457
He looked like he was icing
a cake with it.
479
00:25:20,402 --> 00:25:22,257
Don't try this at home.
480
00:25:22,282 --> 00:25:24,816
Or at work. Don't try this.
481
00:25:24,841 --> 00:25:26,847
Don't. No, none of us ever
want to see this again,
482
00:25:26,872 --> 00:25:28,847
but I want to have a look
at Sophie's, obviously.
483
00:25:28,872 --> 00:25:30,617
Mm. But first, we need a break.
484
00:25:30,642 --> 00:25:32,936
You've just got time to go
and have an energy drink
485
00:25:32,961 --> 00:25:34,977
with the weird guys down the park
486
00:25:35,002 --> 00:25:37,896
and think about the impending
collapse of society.
487
00:25:37,921 --> 00:25:39,127
Bye.
488
00:25:48,962 --> 00:25:51,896
Hello, and welcome back
to Taskmaster,
489
00:25:51,921 --> 00:25:54,257
where we're about
to be taken off air. Yes.
490
00:25:56,322 --> 00:25:58,646
It's just a fascinating task
about the human tongue.
491
00:25:58,671 --> 00:26:00,297
There have been four attempts
so far,
492
00:26:00,322 --> 00:26:02,007
and in the break,
I gave each of them
493
00:26:02,032 --> 00:26:04,337
the number for the Salivation Army.
494
00:26:04,362 --> 00:26:06,057
Oh, God.
495
00:26:06,082 --> 00:26:07,727
There's one almighty tongue left.
496
00:26:07,752 --> 00:26:11,187
Step forward, and further apologies
to Sophie Duker.
497
00:26:11,212 --> 00:26:12,617
Oh, God.
498
00:26:15,681 --> 00:26:17,057
Ah-ha-ha.
499
00:26:18,242 --> 00:26:19,906
How's that? Eh.
500
00:26:21,392 --> 00:26:22,727
Oh, dear.
501
00:26:24,572 --> 00:26:26,547
Oh, that's awful.
502
00:26:29,572 --> 00:26:32,017
Eh-heh! Yeah, no, me, too.
503
00:26:33,442 --> 00:26:34,977
Eeeeeerrrr!
504
00:26:35,002 --> 00:26:37,656
We've reached the ten-minute mark.
505
00:26:37,681 --> 00:26:40,057
Is the tongue tired yet?
506
00:26:40,082 --> 00:26:41,417
Uh-huh.
507
00:26:41,442 --> 00:26:43,776
Do you know how many muscles
you've got in your tongue?
508
00:26:43,801 --> 00:26:45,367
Seven?
509
00:26:45,392 --> 00:26:46,807
It's eight.
510
00:26:48,112 --> 00:26:50,367
You can stop at any time. Eh-he. No?
511
00:26:51,931 --> 00:26:53,906
It's quarter of an hour now.
512
00:26:53,931 --> 00:26:55,497
Which is the worst one?
513
00:26:56,931 --> 00:26:58,807
I'm not making you do this.
514
00:26:58,832 --> 00:27:00,547
It's streaming out now.
515
00:27:00,572 --> 00:27:02,807
Let's dry that up, shall we?
516
00:27:06,402 --> 00:27:08,217
Thank you.
517
00:27:08,242 --> 00:27:11,057
Ha-ha-ha-ha-hah!
You're going to be sick?
518
00:27:11,082 --> 00:27:12,446
No, I'm covered in spit.
519
00:27:12,471 --> 00:27:15,057
You're covered in spit. Uh-huh.
520
00:27:15,082 --> 00:27:16,727
Yes. Yes, you are.
521
00:27:16,752 --> 00:27:18,656
Not going to be much lolly
left soon.
522
00:27:24,242 --> 00:27:26,017
I think you may have... may
have finished.
523
00:27:26,042 --> 00:27:27,576
Do you think you've finished? Mm-hm.
524
00:27:27,601 --> 00:27:29,547
Yeah. Mm-hm-hm?
525
00:27:29,572 --> 00:27:31,497
26 minutes.
526
00:27:31,522 --> 00:27:33,417
How do you feel now?
527
00:27:33,442 --> 00:27:35,267
I don't think I know who I am
528
00:27:35,292 --> 00:27:37,627
if I'm not licking those things
any more.
529
00:27:48,522 --> 00:27:49,857
Incredible work. Do you think?
530
00:27:49,882 --> 00:27:52,987
I mean, it actually made me
physically gip.
531
00:27:55,082 --> 00:27:57,696
Do you think Fredrik from Sweden's
going to call me back now?
532
00:27:59,762 --> 00:28:03,696
No. I mean, she only really stopped
cos she finished the goods.
533
00:28:03,721 --> 00:28:05,446
The lolly...
534
00:28:05,471 --> 00:28:08,137
The goods were in a pile
on the floor
535
00:28:08,162 --> 00:28:12,167
above a lake of flob. Yeah.
536
00:28:12,192 --> 00:28:15,776
It's one of the most impressive,
useless talents I've ever seen.
537
00:28:15,801 --> 00:28:18,547
Thank you so much. Well, look, the
points go according to the times.
538
00:28:18,572 --> 00:28:20,167
It's very simple.
Judi, you showed grit
539
00:28:20,192 --> 00:28:22,167
but you only get one point
for your five minutes.
540
00:28:22,192 --> 00:28:25,057
Ardal, six minutes 40, two points.
Bridget, 12 minutes, three points.
541
00:28:25,082 --> 00:28:26,887
Chris, 14 and a half minutes,
four points.
542
00:28:26,912 --> 00:28:30,377
But with 26 minutes 20,
five points to Sophie Duker.
543
00:28:35,882 --> 00:28:37,267
Please can we see anything else?
544
00:28:37,292 --> 00:28:38,377
Course we can,
545
00:28:38,402 --> 00:28:41,627
and as that door closes,
another one opens.
546
00:28:57,731 --> 00:29:00,887
"Walk through this doorway
wearing the longest shoes
547
00:29:00,912 --> 00:29:02,627
"and the biggest hat."
548
00:29:02,652 --> 00:29:03,737
This door?
549
00:29:03,762 --> 00:29:05,427
Yes.
550
00:29:05,452 --> 00:29:06,937
It's not a very big door.
551
00:29:06,962 --> 00:29:09,706
"You must open the door and walk
through this doorway,
552
00:29:09,731 --> 00:29:13,427
"wearing your long shoes and big hat
within the next 20 minutes."
553
00:29:13,452 --> 00:29:15,737
"Bonus point for the most stylish."
554
00:29:15,762 --> 00:29:18,297
I mean, how am I supposed to know
what he considers stylish?
555
00:29:18,322 --> 00:29:19,526
That's... that's annoying.
556
00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:21,217
Your time starts now.
557
00:29:22,801 --> 00:29:25,576
Well, I'm just going to go
and find a hat and some shoes.
558
00:29:25,601 --> 00:29:26,786
Oh, OK.
559
00:29:26,811 --> 00:29:30,627
Where, where will I find a big hat
and large shoes?
560
00:29:30,652 --> 00:29:32,177
I don't know.
561
00:29:32,202 --> 00:29:34,576
OK. You're no help.
562
00:29:38,372 --> 00:29:41,017
Right, I don't think
there's anything in here.
563
00:29:41,042 --> 00:29:44,347
I think it's quite stylish to be
in mourning. It really is.
564
00:29:44,372 --> 00:29:46,656
It really is.
565
00:29:46,681 --> 00:29:51,297
My sister went to Saint Martin's,
uh, fashion school.
566
00:29:51,322 --> 00:29:53,656
She...| think she'd be really
pleased with that.
567
00:29:53,681 --> 00:29:56,857
I need loads of shoes... Right.
..and loads of hats,
568
00:29:56,882 --> 00:29:58,737
and I want to tape them all
together... Mm.
569
00:29:58,762 --> 00:30:01,297
And then wear it and just pop
a little flower in there
570
00:30:01,322 --> 00:30:04,067
and stuff like that. All right,
I'll gather some hats and shoes.
571
00:30:04,092 --> 00:30:06,347
Yes, please. Where can I meet you?
572
00:30:06,372 --> 00:30:08,377
I'll be relaxing, sitting down.
573
00:30:08,402 --> 00:30:10,987
I just need a bit of help
getting into my new shoes.
574
00:30:11,012 --> 00:30:12,427
Ah.
575
00:30:12,452 --> 00:30:15,192
I take a lot of pride in the things
that I make.
576
00:30:15,217 --> 00:30:16,832
Think it through.
577
00:30:19,576 --> 00:30:21,482
Quite long, Ardal.
Yeah, they are long.
578
00:30:21,507 --> 00:30:23,832
Actually, could you
push that in a bit?
579
00:30:23,857 --> 00:30:26,122
I can't get it out of my hair,
though.
580
00:30:27,257 --> 00:30:29,631
I might need a colander or something
on top of this.
581
00:30:29,656 --> 00:30:32,042
God, you took a bit of a while,
didn't you?
582
00:30:32,067 --> 00:30:34,322
I done my best.
I've got a bag of shoes. OK.
583
00:30:37,147 --> 00:30:39,192
Can I hang them on the door?
584
00:30:39,217 --> 00:30:41,511
Can you hang what on the door?
The shoes.
585
00:30:41,536 --> 00:30:42,712
What do you mean?
586
00:30:42,737 --> 00:30:45,042
I don't know.
587
00:30:51,257 --> 00:30:53,232
But, you know, there were some
familiar things
588
00:30:53,257 --> 00:30:55,592
for someone who's been watching
the whole series.
589
00:30:55,617 --> 00:30:58,872
Judi, incredibly lazy,
getting you to do all the work.
590
00:30:58,897 --> 00:31:01,232
Always. Sophie's obsession
with death.
591
00:31:01,257 --> 00:31:04,681
Bridget working away,
baffling herself at one point
592
00:31:04,706 --> 00:31:07,352
with her own question.
593
00:31:07,377 --> 00:31:09,152
And Ardaljust silently
working away.
594
00:31:09,177 --> 00:31:10,482
But I'm a bit confused. Yes.
595
00:31:10,507 --> 00:31:13,072
Where was Chris?
It's a good question, Greg.
596
00:31:13,097 --> 00:31:14,631
Well, it's an easy task, isn't it?
597
00:31:14,656 --> 00:31:16,511
Make a big hat
and craft some long shoes.
598
00:31:16,536 --> 00:31:20,912
It's an arts—and—crafts task
with endless possibilities.
599
00:31:20,937 --> 00:31:25,272
And yet, here is Chris Ramsey.
600
00:31:25,297 --> 00:31:28,232
Oh, this is a horrible caravan.
601
00:31:28,257 --> 00:31:30,592
There's a hat,
but it's a regular size hat.
602
00:31:30,617 --> 00:31:33,662
I'm not having that.
Right, I can go places, can't I?
603
00:31:33,687 --> 00:31:35,232
You've had two minutes.
604
00:31:36,737 --> 00:31:39,072
I can look other places.
OK, I get it.
605
00:31:39,097 --> 00:31:41,842
Shed seems to be the first
natural point of call.
606
00:31:41,867 --> 00:31:43,712
Yeah, if you want a hat.
607
00:31:43,737 --> 00:31:45,152
Is that a clue?
608
00:31:45,177 --> 00:31:47,152
Why's there no hats or shoes?
609
00:31:48,297 --> 00:31:50,561
Ah, OK, here we go.
610
00:31:50,586 --> 00:31:52,482
What was I doing?
611
00:31:52,507 --> 00:31:56,152
Oh, God, how many hats
does one caravan need?
612
00:31:56,177 --> 00:31:58,042
I don't understand.
613
00:31:59,427 --> 00:32:00,952
All I've found is normal—size hats,
614
00:32:00,977 --> 00:32:02,631
and I can easily go through it
with them,
615
00:32:02,656 --> 00:32:05,232
but I haven't got long shoes —
I'm only a nine. Nine's all right.
616
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:07,952
I don't understand what's happening.
617
00:32:07,977 --> 00:32:10,232
Oh, for God's sake.
618
00:32:12,097 --> 00:32:14,631
There's no fucking shoes!
619
00:32:14,656 --> 00:32:16,992
What size shoe are you, Alex?
I'm a ten.
620
00:32:17,017 --> 00:32:19,272
That's longer than mine.
Can I have your shoes, please?
621
00:32:32,427 --> 00:32:33,952
You can walk away now, Chris.
622
00:32:33,977 --> 00:32:35,712
Thank God.
623
00:32:35,737 --> 00:32:37,232
Good day.
624
00:32:41,697 --> 00:32:44,842
I think there's a degree of style
in the cowboy hat.
625
00:32:46,666 --> 00:32:48,952
"There's no fucking shoes."
626
00:32:48,977 --> 00:32:51,352
"I don't understand
what's happening," times five.
627
00:32:53,057 --> 00:32:55,992
So, you literally thought
the task was find a big hat? Yeah.
628
00:32:56,017 --> 00:32:58,311
Yeah. And big shoes. Yeah.
629
00:32:58,336 --> 00:33:01,402
Do you want to see some people
who actually did make long shoes
630
00:33:01,427 --> 00:33:03,431
and big hats? Yes, please.
631
00:33:03,456 --> 00:33:06,992
OK, well here is judi
with Ardal O'Hanlon.
632
00:33:18,817 --> 00:33:21,122
Are they the right size?
Yeah, yeah, they're a good...
633
00:33:21,147 --> 00:33:22,672
they're actually a good fit.
634
00:33:23,817 --> 00:33:25,352
Ah!
635
00:33:30,222 --> 00:33:32,431
Do you mind shutting the door
behind you?
636
00:33:34,097 --> 00:33:36,712
Task complete. Task complete?
Yeah. Wah-hey!
637
00:33:36,737 --> 00:33:39,641
Thanks, Ardal. Lovely
shoes-and-hat combination. OK.
638
00:33:47,617 --> 00:33:49,072
Oh, hi, Judi. Hi.
639
00:33:49,097 --> 00:33:51,311
You look nice. Thank you.
640
00:33:53,177 --> 00:33:54,511
Are you worried about this wind?
641
00:33:54,536 --> 00:33:57,152
Not really because it's classy.
642
00:33:57,177 --> 00:33:59,431
Oh, course, yeah.
643
00:33:59,456 --> 00:34:01,032
Thanks, Judi.
644
00:34:01,057 --> 00:34:03,592
I bet no—one ain't designed
nothing like this.
645
00:34:08,387 --> 00:34:10,722
Let's talk about the style,
cos I think that...
646
00:34:10,747 --> 00:34:13,922
that Ardal really nailed
a certain style,
647
00:34:13,947 --> 00:34:15,872
a period in time,
648
00:34:15,897 --> 00:34:17,362
lost now,
649
00:34:17,387 --> 00:34:20,952
where I think you went
for a broader approach to fashion.
650
00:34:20,977 --> 00:34:23,592
I went for a kind of Vivienne
Westwood kind of look, you know.
651
00:34:23,617 --> 00:34:26,792
All fashion. You looked like you'd
been kicked through a charity shop.
652
00:34:28,617 --> 00:34:32,082
Eclectic. Eclectic individuality.
An eclectic style.
653
00:34:32,107 --> 00:34:35,842
It's individual
because it's... everybody's style.
654
00:34:35,867 --> 00:34:37,202
Exactly.
655
00:34:37,227 --> 00:34:42,592
And again, what I do with my task
is bring harmony.
656
00:34:47,307 --> 00:34:50,152
Truly the work of a madwoman.
657
00:34:50,177 --> 00:34:51,752
It's the final ad break of the show,
658
00:34:51,777 --> 00:34:54,202
and soon someone will take home
some worthless tat
659
00:34:54,227 --> 00:34:56,482
and a lingering hollow feeling.
660
00:34:56,507 --> 00:34:57,842
Hurry back.
661
00:35:05,957 --> 00:35:08,742
Hello!
662
00:35:08,767 --> 00:35:11,291
Here we are, back and ready
for the last part of the show.
663
00:35:11,316 --> 00:35:13,661
Before the break, the comics
were trying to get through
664
00:35:13,686 --> 00:35:16,211
a tiny door with the longest shoes
and the biggest hat.
665
00:35:16,236 --> 00:35:18,132
There is also a bonus point
for the most stylish
666
00:35:18,157 --> 00:35:20,461
shoe-and-hat combination.
667
00:35:20,486 --> 00:35:23,182
Finally, it's Bridget and Sophie.
668
00:35:38,847 --> 00:35:40,132
Ah.
669
00:35:40,157 --> 00:35:41,852
I can't really see.
670
00:35:43,316 --> 00:35:45,262
Ooh, they are long.
671
00:35:45,287 --> 00:35:46,742
Oh, madam.
672
00:35:53,087 --> 00:35:55,902
Uuuuuuuuh!
673
00:36:03,727 --> 00:36:05,211
Oh, God.
674
00:36:09,727 --> 00:36:11,341
Oh.
675
00:36:13,767 --> 00:36:16,291
Whoa!
676
00:36:17,597 --> 00:36:19,372
Ah.
677
00:36:28,847 --> 00:36:31,902
Wow. What style. What grace.
678
00:36:31,927 --> 00:36:34,652
Um, that's the most normal
I've seen you walk all series.
679
00:36:37,007 --> 00:36:39,852
An intriguing character
that you conjured up.
680
00:36:39,877 --> 00:36:44,262
Uh... Yeah... quite a small hat,
but man those were big feet.
681
00:36:44,287 --> 00:36:45,702
Yeah.
682
00:36:45,727 --> 00:36:47,461
The shoes were long with grief.
683
00:36:47,486 --> 00:36:49,211
OK, well, look, here they all are.
684
00:36:49,236 --> 00:36:51,572
I think you can see
the relative sizes fairly easy.
685
00:36:51,597 --> 00:36:53,932
Oh, look at mine.
Look at mine.
686
00:36:53,957 --> 00:36:56,262
If I have to score it visually,
then I...
687
00:36:56,287 --> 00:36:57,932
I think it's the only way. OK.
688
00:36:57,957 --> 00:37:00,852
So, whose is the smallest
of the shoe-hat combos?
689
00:37:00,877 --> 00:37:03,182
Well, Chris. Good, right.
690
00:37:03,207 --> 00:37:04,461
One point to Chris. Fine. Yeah.
691
00:37:04,486 --> 00:37:07,211
And then, honestly,
we've got to say judi, yeah.
692
00:37:07,236 --> 00:37:08,652
Two points to you, Judi. Yeah.
693
00:37:08,677 --> 00:37:11,062
Whilst the, the shoe length
is impressive,
694
00:37:11,087 --> 00:37:15,572
the hat length has been consumed
by grief, so Sophie would be next.
695
00:37:15,597 --> 00:37:17,142
Right, Sophie gets three points.
696
00:37:17,167 --> 00:37:18,982
And there's more length
to Bridget Christie.
697
00:37:19,007 --> 00:37:20,502
Well, that is true factually, yes.
698
00:37:20,527 --> 00:37:22,372
Well, that's what I'm going
to call it then.
699
00:37:22,397 --> 00:37:25,012
It's five to Bridget, four to Ardal,
three to Sophie, two to Judi
700
00:37:25,037 --> 00:37:27,341
and one to Chris at this stage.
701
00:37:27,366 --> 00:37:29,012
Right, style.
702
00:37:29,037 --> 00:37:30,421
Style point.
703
00:37:31,887 --> 00:37:35,142
I'm thinking Ardal's gone
for quite a classic style,
704
00:37:35,167 --> 00:37:37,142
and the stance is...
705
00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:39,622
it's very Milan.
706
00:37:43,116 --> 00:37:45,541
So I...| think that simplicity must
win the day,
707
00:37:45,566 --> 00:37:47,221
and Ardal O'Hanlon takes it.
708
00:37:47,246 --> 00:37:49,752
OK, there we go. So, it's one
bonus point to Ardal O'Hanlon.
709
00:37:53,727 --> 00:37:55,262
Let's have a quick look
at the scores.
710
00:37:55,287 --> 00:37:58,142
OK. Well, I'm afraid, Judi,
you are in last place again.
711
00:37:58,167 --> 00:38:01,262
At the top, this time, we have
Bridget Christie with 17 points.
712
00:38:06,527 --> 00:38:11,291
Right, up to the stage you go
for the final task of the show.
713
00:38:19,857 --> 00:38:21,421
Who's going to read the task out?
714
00:38:21,446 --> 00:38:24,091
Ardal O'Hanlon's going to read it
out. Table tennis' own.
715
00:38:25,316 --> 00:38:29,862
Write down five things that fit the
category given by the Taskmaster.
716
00:38:29,887 --> 00:38:31,832
Your team will receive a point,
717
00:38:31,857 --> 00:38:34,452
if both players write down the same
thing.
718
00:38:34,477 --> 00:38:37,862
Right. If someone from the other
team writes the same word as you,
719
00:38:37,887 --> 00:38:40,421
that word must be wiped from the
boards
720
00:38:40,446 --> 00:38:42,782
and the team with the most points
wins.
721
00:38:42,807 --> 00:38:45,142
You have 30 seconds to write your
things
722
00:38:45,167 --> 00:38:47,982
and must be silent and still
throughout.
723
00:38:48,007 --> 00:38:50,452
Chris and Ardal, and two of the team
of three,
724
00:38:50,477 --> 00:38:52,782
please, take your place on the
circles.
725
00:38:52,807 --> 00:38:54,551
What's the first category, Greg?
726
00:38:54,576 --> 00:38:59,262
Things with four legs that are
bigger than a rat.
727
00:38:59,287 --> 00:39:02,372
OK, you have 30 seconds to write
five things, starting...
728
00:39:05,366 --> 00:39:10,091
Things with four legs that are
bigger than a rat.
729
00:39:10,116 --> 00:39:12,912
Nice and big with your writing,
please.
730
00:39:16,727 --> 00:39:18,012
Please, stop writing.
731
00:39:19,937 --> 00:39:22,662
OK, so, Ardal, first of all, your
five words.
732
00:39:22,687 --> 00:39:24,982
Five entirely correct answers.
733
00:39:25,007 --> 00:39:28,142
Right, Chris, did you have dog,
zebra, donkey, giraffe, elephant?
734
00:39:28,167 --> 00:39:30,942
Show and tell. So, I had dog.
Lovely.
735
00:39:30,967 --> 00:39:32,942
Elephant and donkey.
736
00:39:36,887 --> 00:39:38,372
Pretty good.
737
00:39:38,397 --> 00:39:40,272
Right, so, so far, three.
738
00:39:40,297 --> 00:39:42,913
So far, three, but if anyone on the
other team has the same as them,
739
00:39:42,937 --> 00:39:45,272
they have to be wiped from the
board. Oh. OK.
740
00:39:45,297 --> 00:39:47,862
Are you all right, Judi? judi looks
nervous.
741
00:39:47,887 --> 00:39:51,452
And, if you don't mind me saying,
with good reason.
742
00:39:52,757 --> 00:39:55,221
OK, Sophie, please, show and tell.
743
00:39:55,246 --> 00:39:59,702
I had donkey, dog, cat, Labrador...
744
00:40:01,087 --> 00:40:02,421
and nice table.
745
00:40:05,297 --> 00:40:07,632
Well, unfortunately, that means the
donkeys
746
00:40:07,657 --> 00:40:10,632
and the dogs need to be wiped off,
as does the cat, Chris.
747
00:40:10,657 --> 00:40:12,341
So, just to recap, at the moment,
748
00:40:12,366 --> 00:40:15,452
the boys still have one point with
the elephant.
749
00:40:15,477 --> 00:40:18,452
We're hoping that Judi's written
either Labrador or nice table
750
00:40:18,477 --> 00:40:20,171
for Sophie's sake.
751
00:40:20,196 --> 00:40:22,812
Judi, please, show us and tell us
what you've written.
752
00:40:24,837 --> 00:40:26,582
Frog...
753
00:40:30,837 --> 00:40:33,452
rabbit, dog, cat...
754
00:40:34,937 --> 00:40:36,171
bird.
755
00:40:38,167 --> 00:40:40,502
I guess, they could be classed as
legs.
756
00:40:40,527 --> 00:40:44,272
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's special
birds in Jamaica.
757
00:40:44,297 --> 00:40:48,662
Oh, them the four—legged Jamaican
bird. Yes. Yeah.
758
00:40:48,687 --> 00:40:51,702
If I'm honest with you,
|'m...|'m back with frog still.
759
00:40:53,196 --> 00:40:54,892
They're so much bigger than a rat, a
frog.
760
00:40:54,917 --> 00:40:57,171
The Jamaican frogs are. Yeah.
761
00:40:58,727 --> 00:41:01,421
She's right, you can get big arse
frogs but it's academic.
762
00:41:01,446 --> 00:41:03,742
Wipe everything off. The boys have
one point, so far.
763
00:41:06,557 --> 00:41:09,992
Are you ready? Category 2 — purple
things.
764
00:41:11,196 --> 00:41:13,582
Yes, it's purple things. You have 30
seconds.
765
00:41:13,607 --> 00:41:14,812
30 seconds...
766
00:41:22,487 --> 00:41:25,062
Yeah, it's not a bad selection from
my view.
767
00:41:25,087 --> 00:41:29,022
Purple things. Just think of all
the purple things you know.
768
00:41:30,246 --> 00:41:33,171
Wow. Lovely stuff. OK, hello,
Ardal, again.
769
00:41:33,196 --> 00:41:35,502
Please, tell me your five purple
things. OK.
770
00:41:35,527 --> 00:41:37,072
Aubergine... Yes.
771
00:41:37,097 --> 00:41:39,351
"Followed by plum. Yep.
772
00:41:39,376 --> 00:41:40,376
Knob...
773
00:41:43,407 --> 00:41:45,942
damson and one of the Tweenies.
774
00:41:45,967 --> 00:41:47,072
Right.
775
00:41:48,607 --> 00:41:50,862
The big five are there.
776
00:41:50,887 --> 00:41:52,382
Yeah.
777
00:41:52,407 --> 00:41:54,712
Chris, please, show and tell us your
five.
778
00:41:54,737 --> 00:41:56,142
Ah, I got all the same ones.
779
00:41:58,847 --> 00:42:00,072
No points yet.
780
00:42:00,097 --> 00:42:01,181
Girls.
781
00:42:01,206 --> 00:42:03,502
I wrote, blueberry.
782
00:42:03,527 --> 00:42:04,712
Cos they're purple.
783
00:42:10,967 --> 00:42:12,782
Blueberries are purple.
784
00:42:12,807 --> 00:42:14,351
They're not blue.
785
00:42:14,376 --> 00:42:15,862
They are. It's in the name.
786
00:42:17,767 --> 00:42:18,892
Lavender.
787
00:42:18,917 --> 00:42:21,181
Purple. Greg's face, sometimes.
788
00:42:22,487 --> 00:42:23,632
Absolutely accurate.
789
00:42:23,657 --> 00:42:26,022
Ribena, Parma Violets.
790
00:42:26,047 --> 00:42:27,301
They're definitely purple.
791
00:42:27,326 --> 00:42:29,632
Please, wipe Ribena from your
boards.
792
00:42:29,657 --> 00:42:30,992
Bridget, what have you got?
793
00:42:31,017 --> 00:42:34,301
Aubergine, rain...
794
00:42:34,326 --> 00:42:35,822
Rain!
795
00:42:38,887 --> 00:42:40,502
Wow, wow.
796
00:42:42,277 --> 00:42:43,582
That is lovely.
797
00:42:43,607 --> 00:42:45,971
Veins, plum and grape.
798
00:42:45,996 --> 00:42:48,632
Oh, they're in sync but with the
wrong teams.
799
00:42:48,657 --> 00:42:50,662
I'm afraid, again, it's zero points
800
00:42:50,687 --> 00:42:53,022
and it stays 1-0 to the boys with
one round to go,
801
00:42:53,047 --> 00:42:55,351
but you might as well clap them
anyway.
802
00:42:58,687 --> 00:43:02,221
OK, it's the final round. Let's hear
the final category.
803
00:43:02,246 --> 00:43:04,502
Things that are nice to put in your
mouth.
804
00:43:06,326 --> 00:43:07,712
30 seconds starting...
805
00:43:12,047 --> 00:43:15,181
Lovely selection of things
that I can see.
806
00:43:15,206 --> 00:43:16,862
Stop.
807
00:43:16,887 --> 00:43:19,221
Well, I think we're in
for a treat here, Greg.
808
00:43:19,246 --> 00:43:20,942
Oh, we certainly are.
809
00:43:20,967 --> 00:43:23,262
Hello, Ardal. Hi, again.
What are your five things
810
00:43:23,287 --> 00:43:24,513
that are nice to put in your mouth?
811
00:43:24,537 --> 00:43:26,382
Uh, yes, I started with thumb. Yeah.
812
00:43:26,407 --> 00:43:28,072
Ice lolly. Mm, lovely.
813
00:43:28,097 --> 00:43:29,792
Blanket.
814
00:43:29,817 --> 00:43:31,221
Cigar. Hm.
815
00:43:31,246 --> 00:43:32,712
And flute.
816
00:43:32,737 --> 00:43:35,072
You pop it in, don't you?
Pop in the flute.
817
00:43:35,097 --> 00:43:36,612
Pop that...
818
00:43:38,887 --> 00:43:40,152
A blanket?
819
00:43:41,817 --> 00:43:43,262
Well, they might not be funny.
820
00:43:43,287 --> 00:43:45,742
Let's find out if Chris is in tune
with his team-mate.
821
00:43:45,767 --> 00:43:47,221
Chris, what are your five things?
822
00:43:47,246 --> 00:43:48,662
Lolly pop. Ooh.
823
00:43:48,687 --> 00:43:51,262
And, uh, thumb. Huh! Thumb, OK.
824
00:43:51,287 --> 00:43:53,902
So the boys... Thumb! ..the boys,
at the moment, have two points.
825
00:43:53,927 --> 00:43:55,152
Two, lolly and thumb.
826
00:43:55,177 --> 00:43:56,742
Three altogether at this stage,
827
00:43:56,767 --> 00:43:59,462
but Judi has written some things.
Judi, what have you written?
828
00:43:59,487 --> 00:44:02,152
I've put body parts...
829
00:44:04,177 --> 00:44:07,262
food, air...
830
00:44:07,287 --> 00:44:10,152
fingers and toes.
831
00:44:14,817 --> 00:44:17,431
I think we're looking
at five points here.
832
00:44:17,456 --> 00:44:19,902
Yeah, and the thing is, obviously,
I know fingers and toes,
833
00:44:19,927 --> 00:44:23,262
but body parts is separate
to fingers and toes. Is it?
834
00:44:23,287 --> 00:44:24,792
Yeah. How so?
835
00:44:24,817 --> 00:44:27,512
Cos it's at the side
and at the bottom.
836
00:44:27,537 --> 00:44:29,462
Body parts is in the middle.
837
00:44:31,456 --> 00:44:33,101
Your fingers are at the side.
838
00:44:33,126 --> 00:44:36,382
They need to get three of these
to draw, four to win.
839
00:44:36,407 --> 00:44:37,792
Bridget, what have you got?
840
00:44:37,817 --> 00:44:39,742
Custard,
841
00:44:39,767 --> 00:44:41,792
fingers... Ooh. Hey! Yes.
842
00:44:41,817 --> 00:44:43,462
Fish fingers,
843
00:44:43,487 --> 00:44:44,822
uh, sweets.
844
00:44:44,847 --> 00:44:47,981
And then I rubbed the last one out
cos I...|...|...
845
00:44:48,006 --> 00:44:50,742
Penis? Yeah, it was that.
It was penis.
846
00:44:50,767 --> 00:44:53,101
Yeah, I would sayjudi
also wiped out penis. What?
847
00:44:53,126 --> 00:44:55,462
Yeah, they both had penis.
Yeah, I wrote penis as well.
848
00:44:55,487 --> 00:44:57,301
So did I! I know. I was...
849
00:44:57,326 --> 00:45:00,262
| was gagging to put it back.
850
00:45:00,287 --> 00:45:04,072
There will be no points
for imagined words.
851
00:45:04,097 --> 00:45:05,981
The game is done,
we'll add it all up,
852
00:45:06,006 --> 00:45:08,022
we'll see how it's affected
the final scores.
853
00:45:08,047 --> 00:45:10,822
Please come and join me.
854
00:45:15,437 --> 00:45:16,702
Well done.
855
00:45:16,727 --> 00:45:19,101
All right? Yeah. They were in sync
sort of.
856
00:45:19,126 --> 00:45:23,022
Elephant, thumb, lolly,
and fingers over there,
857
00:45:23,047 --> 00:45:24,792
so the score was 3-1.
858
00:45:24,817 --> 00:45:27,153
I guess the boys win the task,
so they get five points. Yes.
859
00:45:27,177 --> 00:45:29,022
How many points
do you want the ladies...?
860
00:45:29,047 --> 00:45:30,542
Three on this occasion. OK.
861
00:45:30,567 --> 00:45:33,101
So, it's three points to the girls,
five to the boys.
862
00:45:35,487 --> 00:45:38,152
And that has affected the scores,
you won't be surprised to hear.
863
00:45:38,177 --> 00:45:40,742
They've gone up.
864
00:45:40,767 --> 00:45:43,231
Uh, Judi last place with ten points.
865
00:45:43,256 --> 00:45:45,592
With twice as many points
at the top,
866
00:45:45,617 --> 00:45:47,512
it's Bridget Christie
with 20 points!
867
00:45:47,537 --> 00:45:49,231
What?
868
00:45:49,256 --> 00:45:51,181
Bridget Christie wins!
869
00:45:51,206 --> 00:45:55,592
How did that happen? Please head up
for your holdable haul.
870
00:45:55,617 --> 00:45:57,952
Ooh!
871
00:45:57,977 --> 00:45:59,872
So, what have we learnt today?
872
00:45:59,897 --> 00:46:02,181
We've learnt it's not about
the size of the tongue,
873
00:46:02,206 --> 00:46:04,462
it's about the quality of the flob.
874
00:46:04,487 --> 00:46:06,181
It's not about the size of the hat,
875
00:46:06,206 --> 00:46:08,702
it's about understanding
that you have to make a hat.
876
00:46:08,727 --> 00:46:11,022
It's not about the museum tour,
877
00:46:11,047 --> 00:46:14,311
it's about avoiding the man with
the table tennis bat above his head.
878
00:46:14,336 --> 00:46:18,902
And finally,
birds do not have four legs.
879
00:46:20,727 --> 00:46:22,512
We have to go now,
but tonight's winner
880
00:46:22,537 --> 00:46:25,231
is the wonderful Bridget Christie!
881
00:46:34,807 --> 00:46:36,101
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